By ETHAN BEVINGTON April 25, 2016

After extensive prying from media sources, actress Megan Fox revealed her secret to getting her incredible body: genetics.

“Once I discovered genetics, it changed my life,” said Fox. “If you’re tired of trying products that promise results but don’t deliver, you should try genetics.”

Fox continued, “Genetics is the easy, hassle-free method of getting a body you can be proud of. Why waste your time with healthy eating and exercise when you can lose weight today with genetics?”

“I too used to suffer from being ugly,” said another genetics spokesperson, Adam Levine. “Luckily, I started using genetics. After approximately five years of hard work, battling acne, baby fat, and prom, I achieved a body that makes pre-teens feel things that their parents won’t explain to them— all thanks to genetics.”

“If you want to be able to eat a wheelbarrow full of Olive Garden breadsticks and not gain a pound, then genetics is right for you,” concluded Fox.*

*Results may vary depending on parents, family health history, body-type, and the general lottery of birth

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